Holding The Man Review: An Aussie Queer (Potential) Classic

While Holding The Man tugs at the heartstrings, it’s not without a sense of humour and is a queer love story told with all of the Aussie charm.

“Holding the Man” is one of those films that’ll make you laugh, cry, and possibly rethink your hair choices. Set in Australia, it tells the love story of Tim and John, two blokes navigating life, love, and some seriously dodgy fashion choices in the 70s and 80s. Let’s break down why this film is a must-watch and, if should be considered a queer classic in years to come.

Accents, Mullets, and 1976 Magic

First off, let’s address the accents. We’re pretty sure the actors are both toning down their Australian accents? Maybe a smidge, and it works for Tim (Ryan Corr) as his slightly British affectation fits his theatre kid character. For John (Craig Stott) it’s likely a little more that the true accent of a footy boy from the 70s with Italian parents is likely to need subtitles. The change in accents isn’t jarring though and fits throughout the movie. It’s enough to keep the Aussie authenticity and thankfully didn’t go too far the other way as when Hollywood represents us Aussies.

The decision to have the same actors play both the young and older versions of Tim and John likely came from the origins of this story as a play but it does a great job of keeping things consistent and spares us from that awkward game of “Who’s that supposed to be now?” And speaking of awkward, welcome to 1976—an era of flared pants, questionable life choices, and, of course, John’s mullet. The mullet is a character in itself, one that should probably have been left on the cutting room floor or the floor of the cheap wig shop where they found it.

Time Jumps, Tender Moments, and Awkward Running

The film makes a massive leap from 1976 to 1985 as it’s first-time change. There’s a bit of back and forth throughout the movie which requires a moment of adjustment each time but overall the storytelling is well done. The film is by no means linear in time but rather the choice is made to highlight key, poignant moments from the love story of these two men. Each of these moments deepens our connection to the characters, their stories and their love.

While the movie was adapted from a play, which was adapted from Tim Conigrave’s autobiography, director Neil Armfield takes his opportunities to highlight aspects in a way you couldn’t on stage. Take the scene where Tim and John share a kiss after exchanging Christmas presents. The close-up, intimate shot highlights the size difference between them and thus brings to the fore the contrast between a relatively healthy Tim and John in the late stages of his AIDS battle. This is done with a closeness and tenderness that captures another intimate moment of love between them.

And then there’s the scene where John dies. We can imagine this presented very similarly on the stage. A slow-moving, deliberate moment which highlights John and the key people in his life.

Representation: A Love Story with a Twist

“Holding the Man” does a fantastic job representing queer love without falling into the usual tropes. Tim’s sexuality isn’t immediately obvious, which keeps things intriguing. We assume that Pepe (Sarah Snook) knows and a couple of his other friends. What’s refreshing is that Tim and John aren’t isolated misfits—they have friends right from the start, making this more of a suburban love story than your typical coming-out drama.

Tim’s bold declaration, “I like you,” comes early and with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. The tension is real, especially when Tim writes that forward, risky letter to John. It’s the kind of letter that makes you sweat just reading it. You know it’s going to cause issues and it does. However, when John reciprocates in both those instances, the story moves quickly into the depth of teen love and the relief of each of them living their best lives.

The film also offers a unique look at how the Jesuits react to Tim and John’s relationship. Surprisingly, the Father gives Tim another chance, and while everyone finds out about their relationship pretty quickly, the reactions are a mixed bag. Tim’s friends are surprisingly chill about it, which is a relief given the macho banter they’d been throwing around earlier. The parents, though? That’s another story—except for John’s mum, who’s all about love and acceptance, proving once again that mums often know best.

Dialogue, Icon Status, and All the Feels

The dialogue in “Holding the Man” is a goldmine of memorable lines, swinging from laugh-out-loud funny to gut-wrenchingly real. Gems like “I should’ve worked harder to make you cum” and “Effeminate monkeys don’t get work” remind us how far we’ve come (and how far we still have to go). The film doesn’t shy away from tackling heavy themes like prejudice, acceptance, conflict, and AIDS, but it does so with a personal touch that makes these familiar issues feel fresh and impactful without being cliche or too tropey.

When it comes to iconic status, “Holding the Man” has all the makings of an Australian classic. Sure, if Hollywood had gotten its hands on it, it might have gone the way of “Philadelphia,” but this film has its own unique charm. It might not have hit the mainstream, but within Australia and the queer community, it’s got a certain level of iconic status.

In the end, “Holding the Man” is a beautifully crafted, intimate film that doesn’t try to be a blockbuster but succeeds in being something even better: real, heartfelt, and unforgettable. It’s the kind of movie that sneaks up on you and stays with you long after the credits roll—much like John’s mullet. And yes, you’ll probably cry—whether it’s from laughter, heartbreak, or just the sheer Aussie-ness of it all. You can hear our full Holding The Man review on the podcast.